Great Bedroom Set - Armoire/Frame/Night stands

*Whirling matter and clanking metal*

You guessed right, it's me!...Parenthetical John?! -- you know, the time-traveling, world-defending John from the parallel universe? Ok clearly you don't remember, it must be the robe. Anyway, while we were talking, that haywire time machine just took us back to the good 'ole days. Yeah, so right now you can trust people under thirty, oh, but there's a war going on (sorry); the dystopian sleep war, so you better gear up pal.

The Dozer Haven Barricade : Crafted with hibernation in mind, its sturdy regal structure doesn't just hold your mattress; it cradles dreams and anchors the room in a sea of tranquility. Let's be real, the world is pretty woke out there, this thing will shield you from it for, I don't know, 'bout eight hours until the oomphs hit below 20, needing another charge.

The Grand Armoire Overseer: Feast your eyes upon this master of dimension, that's not just rows of French scarfs; it's a battle station, ready to hurdle shells of preparedness so you can sleep longer. Open its wings to reveal a haven for your wardrobe, where each garment hangs like Charlie Brown's shirts, neatly displayed for your daily fashionable uniform.

The Twin Nightstand Guardians: Flanking the bed are the nightstand duo, each standing guard with two drawers, at the ready with your essential midnight weaponry and, of course, a facility for captured enemy ghosts. They're not just nightstands; they're bedside command centers for your ongoing nocturnal war.

I suggest you take this bedroom set with you before the time machine portal closes and you're back with the people under thirty digesting countless TikTok videos and tide pods).

*BANG, poof, half-spin, pop*